“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter Drucker has emphasized that effective communication involves not just what we say, but also how we express it through body language and other nonverbal cues.
In everyday workplace situations, people often speak diplomatically, which can sometimes be difficult to interpret.
Over the past twelve years, I’ve worked in a variety of settings, including engineering design offices, research laboratories and factory sites in both India and France. I’ve observed many differences in workplace culture and how colleagues interact. Due to the nature of my job, I’ve been on numerous business trips across Europe. As a result, I regularly interact with a diverse range of individuals from various cultural and professional backgrounds, including technicians, product managers, directors, sales and accounts team, clients, suppliers, HR professionals, professors, researchers, entrepreneurs and students.
I’ve noticed that business communication is a blend of diplomacy, efficiency and subtle cues. Sometimes, what colleagues say isn’t exactly what they mean. Understanding their tone and intent can help avoid misunderstandings and build stronger working relationships.
For example, compared to India, I’ve found that in Europe, senior colleagues rarely give direct instructions. Instead, they expect commitment and timely delivery, partly due to cultural differences and also because overtly bossy behavior is generally avoided.
In this blog, I explore five subtle “languages” of the workplace based on my experience and attempt to decode what colleagues mean when they say certain things, along with suggested ways to respond in those situations:
- “Thank you for the deliverable. However, instead of [this] I would have done [that].”
Probable meaning: Your deliverable is appreciated, but I don’t fully agree with certain aspects: be it the content, formatting, or specific information. I’d prefer it to be adapted according to my suggestions.
Scenario: You had a team discussion and committed to delivering a report to your manager within a week. You put in significant effort and created a well-structured report, drawing inspiration from a format previously used by your manager. You followed all formatting, length, and image guidelines, and even added extra design elements in the appendix to enhance the report. Feeling proud of your work, you submitted the report, hoping for appreciation or at least a simple thank-you.
Instead, the response you received was unexpectedly different, leaving you feeling awkward and questioning, “Why didn’t I get the appreciation that I deserved?” It can be disheartening, especially when managers don’t seem to follow their standards or acknowledge your effort.
However, it’s important to recognize that expectations evolve. What worked yesterday might not be what’s needed today. In this case, while your additions were thoughtful and valuable, they weren’t discussed in advance. Meanwhile, your manager may have developed a new vision for the report during a recent conversation with the client.
What to do? This situation could have been better managed with brief daily updates of 2 to 5 minutes, to keep your manager informed of your progress. These short check-ins allow both parties to share and align on evolving ideas, ensuring the final report reflects the most current expectations. They also foster more open, casual communication, helping build mutual understanding and trust.
2. “I was wondering if you had a chance to …….”
Probable meaning: I understand you may be busy, but I’d like an update on the task. While this is a polite way to ask if something has been completed or reviewed, depending on the context, it may carry underlying frustration or urgency, especially if delays are involved.
Scenario: You’re working on a design, but due to other priorities, the delivery has been delayed. The requester is aware of your situation and sends a polite follow-up email. However, if delays continue and reminders persist, the tone behind the message may shift, reflecting growing impatience.
What to do: If you need more time, inform the requester well in advance to avoid last-minute stress. When you receive reminder emails, the best approach is to set up a quick meeting and speak directly with the requester. A direct conversation resolves issues faster than a back-and-forth email chain. It allows for immediate clarification, reduces misunderstandings, builds trust and opens the door for negotiation.
- “What do you think of other people?” from HR or manager
Probable meaning: “Do you think the other employee is fit for the job? Is there something (strong or weak point) which I haven’t noticed”.
Scenario: A new employee has recently joined your team. He is intelligent, highly motivated, and treats others with respect. However, he often starts work later than his colleagues and leaves early. One of your coworkers has raised a concern, stating that it’s been difficult to schedule meetings with him. The HR team has now reached out to you for your feedback regarding this new team member.
What to do? Providing views is a subjective matter and can depend on your personal relationship with the new employee. However, in my view, it’s best to approach the situation diplomatically without expressing strong personal opinions. Offering negative feedback could risk the new employee’s position, which many would prefer to avoid, while overly praising them might undermine your long-standing coworker’s concerns. A balanced approach would be to highlight the new employee’s qualities and suggest constructive ways to improve the situation. This helps maintain a fair perspective and supports a harmonious work environment without compromising anyone’s interests.
4. “That’s an interesting idea.”
Probable meaning: This can have several meanings based on the tone, pause and intent. It may be:
- A neutral or polite response to acknowledge a suggestion without immediately agreeing or disagreeing.
- A signal to openness to new perspectives and a willingness to explore creative solutions.
- A diplomatic way of soft rejection and redirection
Scenario: You suggest switching to a new project management tool, and your team lead responds, “That’s an interesting idea.” What’s happening: your team lead is skeptical but doesn’t want to dismiss it outright. He might be happy to explore the feasibility and predetermine the consequences of switching to a new tool before agreeing.
It’s also possible that your lead is trying to keep you motivated by not expressing concerns, even though they may internally recognize that transitioning to the new tool will require thorough validation and could cause delays during the transition period.
What to do?: If you hear this phrase, it’s helpful to follow up with a clarifying comment, such as “Do you want me to arrange another meeting to discuss this further?”. In the above scenario, if your team lead had further agreed to explore the solution further or had asked you, “Have you seen any examples of that working well?” then he is genuinely interested.
5. “You don’t have to come to the office just for that.”
Probable meaning: “I can handle the situation but your presence would be helpful.
Scenario: You are working from home but there is an important meeting. Except you, everyone else shall be participating in the meeting in-person. You discussed with a coworker if he can pick up a product from your office desk and show it to others during the meeting. Your coworker said that he can certainly do that and “you don’t have to come to the office just for that.”
What to do? Your coworker doesn’t want to bother you and is being polite by expressing that. However, he is subtly indicating that your presence is important, especially since you have key insights into the product. Rather than explaining the product through a presentation, it might be more effective to demonstrate it live during a meeting and engage in real-time discussions.
In such cases, I’ve always preferred to be present for the discussion and observed that in-person discussions were much smoother by using a whiteboard to sketch ideas, which made it easier for others to understand and much more convincing than remote meetings.
Understanding the subtle cues in workplace language can turn everyday conversations into powerful tools for collaboration and trust. So, the next time a colleague says something that seems simple on the surface, take a moment, there might be more meaning behind their words than you think. Don’t hesitate to share your experiences!!